A pep talk for fruitcake

A pep talk for fruitcake


Oh fruitcake, why do people hate you so?

Whilst we fawn over the sprinkle-laden cookies and eggnog laid out just so, we laugh at you. There you are, just a bunch of thick, dense slices of cake sitting all alone, banished to the corner of the treat table.

People chuck you for fun, blow you up in labs and joke about using loaves of you as a doorstop. It’s sad, really. So what could change you? What could help you compete with the likes of those decorated cookies everyone seems to love?

What you need, fruitcake, is a new attitude. Dare I say, a healthier attitude!

You’re already halfway to being a healthy holiday snack. You are a fruitcake, after all. Fruit is healthy. Nuts are one of your main ingredients, and they are packed with protein and omega fats. That’s two healthy ingredients! Most of our holiday delectables are just sugar and butter and ooey, gooey chocolate. Who needs that, when there is you?

So what if one slice of you is 139 calories. After all, a cup of eggnog is loaded with 343 calories. And your modest calorie count includes a dose of riboflavin, too. Sure it is only about 5 percent of a person’s riboflavin intake for the day. But seriously, riboflavin should just be thankful someone remembers him at all.

And hey, you are low in cholesterol and saturated fats. Your frenemy the sugar cookie may have less calories per cookie, but that measly cookie packs on more fat than you do!

There’s just a couple teeny, tiny things you could do. And believe me, no one is criticizing you. It’s tough being a cake! But what if instead of candied fruit, you used fruits with no added sugar, say fresh pineapple and cherries? And maybe ease up on the sugar a tad, or use a substitute.

No pressure, though, big guy! We love you just the way you are.

Related Episodes