Even with the most tuned-in cat parents, cats tend to communicate on a totally different wavelength. In contrast to their chatty humans, they rely mainly on nonverbal signals. The quintessential ‘meow’ isn’t something that cats respond to—they use it to get our attention. That said, there are ways to commune with your cat.

Cats don’t use many facial expressions themselves, but they can learn what ours mean—that is, if we matter to them. They don’t seem to react to intense expressions on strangers’ faces.

Sometimes when trying to send a message, it’s best to follow a cat’s lead. For example, a very slow blink, versus a direct stare, is a way to let your cat know that everything’s fine. Likewise, you can make a soft “brrrip” sound [roll your tongue when making this sound]

Of course after you’ve said it all, petting may still be the best way to let your cat feel the love.